LUST

There are the saints. And then there are the rest of us, who sometimes crave, yearn, covet, hunger, itch, ache, pine, and hanker for too much of a good thing. This is lust.

Even more than music or mathematics, lust may be the universal language. In its most elemental form, lust can be tantalizing, enthralling, contagious. But just as often it can be awkward, off-putting, messy—grotesque, even. There's typically an edge of desperation to lust, which makes it terribly (really, terribly) compelling. And it has tragicomic dimensions, too, which are easiest to discern in creatures (witness the family pet in heat, McDonald's customers wolfing down giant cheeseburgers, or crazed shoppers fighting over bargains), even as we recognize a bit of ourselves in the graceless spectacle. Humans bring momentum, cunning, and infinite variety to lust, stretching and distorting its contours. That's what drew us to the topic as we conceived of this issue of COLORS. Lust begins in our collective imagination as a sexual thing—an oddly pleasurable form of temporary insanity, in ideal circumstances
a madness indulged with a loved one—but for many of us, it can have everything and nothing to do with sex. Lust is, or becomes, about power. About acquisition (of money or objects or people). Control. Wanting. Devouring. And the most interesting thing of all is what happens in the space between desperately wanting and finally having (or not having): the manner in which we succumb t o our lust—and whether or not we allow self-gratification to be perverted into self-destruction.



AmPula

Cypher Shift

It is common to hear folks speak of love in terms of business, but never do we hear folks speak of business in terms of love. Is love so beyond us & our understanding that we must look to other realms to describe its comings, in betweens and goings? It has been written that there are few (5 or less) words for 'love' in the english language while Hindi has thousands. What is it about the english language or indeed our culture that confines 'love' to such a limit? In linguistics, the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis (SWH) states that there is a systematic relationship between the grammatical categories of the language a person speaks and how that person both understands the world and behaves in it. It is not surprising that language has controlling effects on thoughts, feelings & action; it may be considered 'radical' that the lack of 'love' in the english language has something to do with our 'messiness' or confusion with it.
This is not to imply that because one has more words for a concept or object, they know more about it or have a better grasp on it; but it does say something that implies a lack of 'love language' impacts how we move in the world.

Take for instance the song "I'm in love under new management". This title implies that love is something that must be 'managed', similar to a business. Love is unpredictable and fluorishes best 'unmanaged'; its the management of love that usually changes 'love' from a free flowing embodiment of non-judgement, support and adoration (among other things) to a set of rules that must be followed. It then becomes something else, something we're more familiar with accorded with how we think things should be.
'Managed love' is NOT love.

Ampula





the squeaky wheel gets oiled.

Shadow side of ourselves

We do not like to look at the shadow side of ourselves; therefore
there are many people in our civilized society who have
lost their shadow altogether, have lost the third dimension,
and with it they have usually lost the body. The body is a most
doubtful friend because it produces things we do not like. . . .
Sometimes it forms the skeleton in the cupboard, and everybody
naturally wants to get rid of such a thing.

Carl G. Jung

Class Matters

The NYT in today's Sunday edition has a story on 'Class Matters' which has an interesting interactive graphic to see where you may 'fit' in terms of social class. www.nytimes.com/packages/html/national/20050515_CLASS_GRAPHIC/index_01.html?hp.

The categories rated include Occupation, Education, Income & Wealth. Does one matter moreso that another? Does ethnicity/race factor in to one's class? How does one's health status impact class? How about whether one has children/dependents? How does one's history & ancestral history in this country affect social/economic class?

These questions need serious examination when considering one's class & one's social/economic mobility. In addition, the roles of the individual (ambition, skill level), institutions (schools, workplaces) & government must be considered while when judging 'rung difficulty of the social/economic ladder.

ampula

DEBI Trainings & S. Williams

Today, I completed DEBI (Diffusion of Effective Behavioral Interventions) training on MPowerment (www.mpowerment.org) Program at Bienestar (www.bienestar.com). What with the complex requirements of contracts LA County AIDS Service Oranizations are subject to, a serious question of fidelity raises its head. My astute college Pato pointed out that Mpowerment is not "traditional AIDS education, HIV prevention outreach, safer sex workshops or AIDS prevention public service announcements". The structure of OAPP's (Office of AIDS Programs & Policy) contract and Scope of Work is pretty "traditional". With this apparent contradiction, local HIV/AIDS organzations are challenged to navigate fulfilling both their contracts to maintain funding & good standing and the Mpowerment Project's structure to (purportedly) ensure the effectiveness of their Interventions with Gay & Bi youth.

Facilitators of the training were at a loss fielding questions by attendees of the training & indeed admitted the unique challenge that LA County/OAPP presents. Ultimately, it will be the agency's responsibility to talior the highly modified Mpowerment structure to its needs & hope to decrease rates of unsafe/unprotected sex among this population.

SERENA WILLIAMS suffers 'worst loss' in Rome.

Tennis marvel Serena Willams lost in the 1st round of the Rome Masters.



The Rome Masters, a tuneup to the French Open, represented Serena's worst lost ever.
Serena had this to offer: "I think everyone in their career has their worst loss and this is probably it for me - for sure.
"And the last. It won't be happening again."

This further fuels the 'on fire' comeback of Justine Henin-Hardenne who has won her past 3 torunaments & partically - due to the Williams sisters lackluster play and the recent injury of Kim Clisters - makes her the favorite to win the French.

Revlon Run/Walk for Women

Me, Alex,  Joyce & Ryan Diego

Photobucket

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

This past Saturday night, I attended the '1st Annual Congolese Fundraising Event' for the Congolese Community of Southern California. I heard about the Benefit on KPFK and checked out the website (www.congola.org) for more information. This, I thought, was an opportunity to support those in need (specifically Women, HIV/AIDS sufferers and victims of war) in the Democratic Republic of Congo, to mingle with Congolese (which I've never done), listen to music & taste the flavors from that country. It also beat the usual Saturday nite fare of going out dancing & dropping $30 or more on drinks, cover etc.......

After getting through a number of roadblocks downtown (b/c of a street festival to happen Sunday) I arrived around 10 pm. The event, that was to begin at 9 pm, actually began around 11:20 pm.

I ran into Fran, a former 'Dogeater' cast member who was working concessions for 'Shag with a Twist'. What a relief, because I may not have hung out so long if she wasn't there. We chatted, smoked & talked about the political struggle between the LA City council and the Los Angeles Theatre Center.

The event began with a short film by 'Women for Women Int'l' showing the positive work they've done with women who have been terrorized worldwide. Afterwards, the MC welcomed a husband & wife team who had gone to the Dem. Republic of Congo in February, 2005 and were compelled to do something about those suffering from numerous issues. The wife made an especially compelling case for girls/women (ranging in age from 3 to 70) who were raped by militants and as a result of the trauma of rape suffered from fistula (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fistula).

I met 2 men (1 from Uganda, the other from the Dem. Rep. of Congo). We engaged each other on the state of Africa (especially, DR Congo, Uganda & Nigeria) & some thoughts on what can be done to bring those countries out of 3rd world status; it was stimulating & heartening to hear fellow brothers speak with concern of this often neglected part of the world.

For more information on the Democratic Republic of the Congo, go to: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democratic_Republic_of_the_Congo

Signing off for now.......

-VAlEBB