BISEXUALITY BEYOND HUMANS

At a party Friday, a buddy stated he did not believe that 'bisexuals exist'. He, as most folks who have this 'belief' pointed out that 'animals aren't bisexual' and men who say they are bisexual are just 'gay men who have sex with women'. AMPULA begs to differ; earlier that day I read a wonderfully revealing story about Bonobos in at nerve.com (Bisexuality issue), a group of Pygmy Chimpanzees found in the Dem. Republic of Congo that are ALL BISEXUAL. This interesting story & interview goes further and suggests bisexuality is more our true nature:

Please read on..........from Nerve.com:

Bisexuality is often seen as gateway behavior exhibited by those not yet ready for the pride parade, a human affectation created for the sake of saving face in a homophobic world. But consider the bonobo, the planet's only species that is bisexual across the board. Every bonobo on earth is a natural switch-hitter, and not only are they polymorphous perverse — they're the porn stars of the animal kingdom. Bonobos engage in sexual activity about every ninety minutes as a way of defusing conflict within colonies where food and territory can be scarce. While chimpanzees duke it out for the last banana, bonobos go down for it. Using sex as a social lubricant and tension breaker has made the bonobo not only a fascinating study, but also the most peaceful primate species in existence. Over the past twenty years, Dr. Frans B. M. de Waal, a director at the Yerkes Primate Center in Atlanta, has become their foremost expert. He is the author of Bonobo: The Forgotten Ape, and his forthcoming book, Our Inner Ape, will look at what we can learn from the bonobo's peaceful, libidinous ways. Here, he talks about bisexuality, conflict resolution, and learning to share the banana.

Q. Why is the bonobo "the forgotten ape" when other primates have achieved such status in the media?

A. The chimp has been known since the seventeenth century and studied in captivity. The bonobo was discovered much later and not studied in the field until the mid-1970s. Fieldwork was very limited, and then the Congo fell apart. We also have only very few of them — about 150 in captivity.

Q. Are there so few of them in zoos because zookeepers are bashful about having such a sexual animal on view?

A. No, I think it's simply because the area they live in is not next to big ports in Africa, and the species is not as common. Embarrassment by zoo administrators may exist, but any zoo that can get them will try to.



How did you come to study such an uncommon primate?

At the time I worked with chimps. I was interested in war and peace, conflict resolution. So when I looked at bonobos I thought it would be interesting to compare them. At the time I knew nothing of their sexual behavior or that that happened to be their way of conflict resolution. That came out of my studies at the time.

How could you, a knowledgeable primatologist, have been unaware of their sexual habits?

Yes, the sex was very obvious and could not be missed, but many people who knew about it would not talk about it. American scientists are very shy about sex. If they can call it something else then they will. So they'd say things like, "The bonobos are very affectionate," or some similar euphemism. The word sex was not used very much in the literature. It's amazing that scientists could still be prudes in this day and age.I think Americans are just as prudish as they used to be. We came across these beautiful pictures of bonobos that no Americans wanted, so we went to this publication called Geo in Germany, and they put two copulating bonobos on the cover and called it "Peace Through Sex."

Are bonobos aware of the fact that they're using bisexual sex to defuse conflict, or is it happening on such a primal level that when there's a territorial dispute or a shortage of food, they just suddenly get the urge to go at it?

Many animals are aware of the reasons for certain things, but to make things explicit is an entirely different skill. But they do apply these techniques in intelligent ways. It's not just random. And they're not obsessed with sex, even though they do it all the time. Most of it has to do with social contact.There are many primates who use sex in their social life, just like in human society.

Some argue that bisexuality among bonobos proves that bisexuality in humans is natural, while others say it's proof that bisexuality is animalistic, and therefore is not fit for human society. Which camp are you in?

All of these arguments fall apart when you really look at them. It's not something we can use to derive moral judgment. If you say bisexuality is animalistic, then breathing is animalistic. Raising kids is animalistic. Heterosexuality is animalistic. Moral judgment cannot be derived from natural tendencies.

Do you ever hear about gay-rights groups using your work to support their activism?

I don't think gay-rights groups officially use my work, but I do think that the bonobo is popular in the gay community. I think there's a Bonobo Bar in every gay community I've ever been to. The animal has become emblematic there.

Are bonobos, as a species, ever lambasted by social conservatives?

I've never had trouble with social conservatives. Lambasting bonobos for doing what they're doing would be like lambasting elephants for using their trunks.

Newt Gingrich included your book, Chimpanzee Politics: Power and Sex Among Apes, on his list of recommended reading for freshman Republicans.

Yes. I've met Newt. He lives in Atlanta. He reads books, at least, which is good. Most politicians in this country never take a book in their hands, so the least you can say about him is that he reads.

He's never struck me as a champion of conflict resolution, though. Do you think your work can really be viably transferred into the realm of politics by Congressional leaders?

It depends on how you look at it. If you look at it as enhancing your political career, you could use Machiavelli, as well. But you could also use my work for peacemaking purposes.

I can see how sex would defuse tension, but I have more trouble understanding how it could actually dissolve conflict. Let's say there's only a certain amount of food for a group of primates. Chimps will fight for it, and in the end, that's how it gets divided up. But bonobos will just start an orgy, and when they're done, the food's still not divvied up. How does that solve the problem?

They share the food. Chimps also share food, but bonobos will precede the sharing with sex rather than violence. There can be competition between the males, but unlike with chimps, there are no recorded cases of bonobos ever killing each other.

Are these orgies structured in any way?

They're basically a free-for-all.

Are there any courting or wooing rituals among bonobos? Do they show gentle affection, or is it all just sex?There's plenty of affection in bonobo society. For instance, they groom each other, which we consider affection.

There's a lot of affection mixed with sex. For them, the border between sex and affection is very vague.

Our culture tends to associate a voracious sexual appetite with a lack of intelligence, both in animals and people. But bonobos are really smart. They're one of the few animals that can recognize their reflection in a mirror as being that of themselves, which many scientists consider to be a bright-line test for intelligence.And as far as intelligence goes, I consider them to be the most empathetic of all of the apes. In human development, we know that when children begin passing the mirror recognition test [usually around age two], that's the same time they start developing higher levels of empathy. There's a correlation between empathy and self-recognition, because you can recognize yourself as a being like other beings. Bonobos will help each other in insightful ways. In one zoo in the U.S., there was a blind bonobo female who would always lose her way, and the oldest male in the colony would grab her hand and lead her where she wanted to go.

That sounds more empathetic than many humans.

Well, we're selective as to when we apply it. I look at humans as bipolar in the sense that humans have a very nice side and a very nasty side. We can be far nicer and far nastier than almost any primate we know of. n°

Friday Funnies........

Loved this comic, enjoy:

Lalo Alcaraz Comic

Enjoy these strip from 1 of my fav comics, Lalo Alcaraz:

The Groove, Stella, & all that Jazz

I recently had an interesting exchange in response to the story below......read on & feel free to comment.

ampula

Stella Looses Her Groove as She Divorces Gay Husband

by Ross von Metzke

Los Angeles, CA - It was the book and the movie that taught 40-something women age ain't nothing but a number. But it seems the last chapter of the popular tale How Stella Got Her Groove Back may have a twist ending.
San Francisco based author Terry McMillan, whose celebrated romance and subsequent marriage to a man 23 years her junior became the subject of her fictionized best-seller, may have actually found her groove with a man who now says he's gay.
The story has Hollywood written all over it with McMillan filing for divorce from her Jamaican-born husband of six years in Contra Costa County Superior Court.
McMillan, 53, said in court documents that the marriage was based on a "fraud' because Plummer lied about his sexual orientation and married her only to gain U.S. citizenship.
"It was devastating to discover that a relationship I had publicized to the world as life-affirming and built on mutual love was actually based on deceit," she wrote in her declaration, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. "I was humiliated."
Plummer, 30, countered in court papers of his own that McMillan has turned on him with a "homophobic'" vengeance and is trying to force his return to an uncertain future in Jamaica. He is seeking to void the couple's prenuptial agreement that would keep from him most of the millions she's earned as a writer.
He also claims he was denied his full share of royalties, as spelled out in the prenup, from How Stella Got Her Groove Back, the fictionalized account of a single mother's whirlwind relationship with a Jamaican young enough to be her son. The book went on to sell movies and was turned into a smash hit film starring Angela Bassett and Taye Diggs.
Plummer's attorney, Dolores Sargent, said her client has no interest in embarrassing McMillan or extorting money from her.
"All I want to do is settle the case in a way that's fair to both parties... and that allows Jonathan sufficient funds to re-establish himself," Sargent said. "And we have been blocked"
In court papers, McMillan leaves little doubt that she believes Plummer was always motivated by money.
"Jonathan has manipulated me from the very beginning in his scheme to come to the United States, become a citizen and get rich through someone else's effort,' McMillan wrote in one of her filings.
In an interview, Plummer insisted that he didn't know he was gay when he met McMillan in June 1995 at a Jamaican resort. Nor, he says, did he seize on the author's fame.
"I was a 20-year-old kid when I met her and had no idea that she was anybody other than an attractive, older woman," he said in court papers.
In court records, McMillan said Plummer only confessed to being gay after she confronted him about all his hours of phone calls to a male friend living in Jamaica. She also said she later learned that Plummer was participating in online gay chat sites.
McMillan obtained a restraining order to keep Plummer from their house, and she claimed she recently discovered that Plummer had embezzled at least $200,000 from her bank accounts before and during their marriage.
Plummer admitted "a gross error of judgment" in taking $62,000 without her knowledge, but said that he was financially dependent on her during the marriage and that he intends to pay it back.
Plummer obtained his own restraining order against the author, alleging that McMillan constantly harassed him for coming out of the closet, and at one point walked into his dog-grooming business and tossed a ceramic object across the room.
McMillan's attorney, Jill Hersh - a divorce lawyer who has handled civil rights cases involving gay couples and their children - said her client "is anything but homophobic.'
"However, she feels betrayed and disappointed... that her husband is gay, ' Hersh said. "And anything you have seen in the pleadings emanates from how she is experiencing the end of her marriage, and it doesn't have to do with anything else.'
Plummer said he understands that McMillan felt betrayed by his coming out.
"But I was being truthful to myself, and didn't want to hurt her anymore,' he said.
On June 17, a Superior Court judge handed Plummer a minor victory, ordering McMillan to pay him $2,000 a month in spousal support, plus $25,000 in attorney's fees. A full trial on the validity of the prenuptial agreement and the annulment request is scheduled to be heard in October
Jonathan Chang

The exchange begins:


...yes, it's quite sad. a lot of people knew he was a mo. i believe he's a grifter who is quite raggedy for trying to void their prenup.

me:
hmmm, but did he kno he was a mo befo he gave McMillan her groove? Was she so desperate to 'get her groove' she blinded herself? More importantly, wIll there be a sequel to the novel!?!?

He may be a grifter, but it ain't surprising he's trying to cash in on their years together........

..........this'll stoke those DL flames again.............

;)

well, to be DL, your homosexuality should be a secret. lol. everyone who met him was saying he was a mo. she probably blinded herself. but i've come through personal experience to empathize with the almost spiritual notion that loving and the best kind of love require certain leaps of faith despite considerable contrary evidence. sometimes we get burned; sometimes we are consumed deliciously. pick your poison, accept your outcome - you may get the best kind of lucky.

being lonely or alone can be hard. i hope she finds the strength to love next time without keeping her hand cynically on her hip; i hope he finds the strength to move on with his life. i believe that the only reason he tried to void the prenup is as leverage, assuming terry would be too embarrassed to take it to court. now he's stuck arguing that he didn't perform husbandly duties (primary of which are fidelity and sexual consort), but that the prenup is unfair.

for me the legal argument is interesting: if a marriage between heteros dissolves, it's clearly because one or both parties were no longer willing to perform marital duties. if sexuality is the basis of a divorce, i'd strongly advise her lawyer to look at an impossibility of performance defense that voids the marriage contract.

finally, you can "know" your spouse used to do threesomes, marry him trusting that his promise not to do it any longer was reliable, then be entitled to outrage when you find him in the hot tub with two other folks. If people aren't entitled to trust the word of their partners, if permanent cynicism is the only protection against people with questionable pasts, none of us (your truly included) would be in relationships. lol.

having a slowish day,


me:

'DL' is such a somewhat amorphous term that has few discreet boundaries except that its a man who enjoys some form of sexual contact with another man who may or may not identify as gay, bi, straight, who may or may not be involved w/a woman & who's proclivities range from secretive/denial to 'I don't put my business out ther, but I'm cool with being who I am' , to someone who self-perceives as DL but is really on the 'Up High' (naming names.....ahem, Ms. Star Jones hubby!).

There is a line between blinding onself to what's really going on & 'Leaps of faith' (usually its cricked & blurred tho'); a woman at 43 vacationing on the Carribean should know better!.......Being a independent, smart, strong sista with her shit together, Terry prolly did know better but she chose to fall for this 'Romeo'. Who among us wouldn't like being charmed off our piggies, by a yummy Jamacian man, no less! You got a point, lonliness, vacationing, middle-age and that heavy carribean air prolly allowed her to open up to things she would have thought twice about if it had happened on the bay area.

& who knows whether or not he didn't perform 'husbandly duties'; being gay/bi/attracted to men don't mean you can't fuck a female, just that you like being with men & p-ssy don't necessarily get priority. If that were the case, she would have filed earlier if she wasn't gettin' none & that was a problem; maybe she's using that as a hinge for the 'marital duties' argument. But trust, that wouldn't make it 'impossible' to perform; it would come down to her word against his.

I don't know if 'entitled to trust the word' or 'entitled to outrage' quite captures what i'd call it. Trust comes with establishing & maintaining a relationship; but i would argue that one does not have 'entitlement' to that, its a 'leap of faith' (as you mentioned earlier) kind of thing that should never be taken for granted...........