Online hook-up dictionary.....

Here's a little lexicon to help wade through all the fancy language used out there......

Amp.....

Total Top: 1. I have masculinity and control issues. 2. I'm ugly and since most gay men are bottoms, I can hopefully get laid this way.

Total Bottom: 1. I'm selfish and lazy. 2. I was never properly toilet trained. 3. Like Totally Top, I also have control issues. 4. I have a small penis.

BB: 1. I don't care about my own well being, let alone YOURS. 2. I’m living in a fantasy world. 3. I'm completely self-destructive.

Bi-Curious: I’ve always wondered what it would be like to sleep with a woman.

Football Player Build: I’m hoping the sports metaphor will turn you on, but, be advised, I’m fat.

Average Build: Many people operate under the assumption that all gay men go to the gym, so, I’m hoping you’ll be dumb enough to think I do too. The average American male is out of shape and overweight, and so am I.

Medium Build: 1. Since people are catching on to the meaning of “average build,” I’ve started saying I have a medium build. 2. See “Average Build.”

Runner’s Build: I’m hoping the sports metaphor will turn you on, but, be advised, I’m skinny.

Swimmer’s Build: I’m slimmer than a football player, but beefier than a runner. I’ve never swam a day in my life but don’t know what else to call myself. I’m hoping the sports metaphor will turn you on.

Butch: I’m a big queen and think wearing a baseball cap and/or leather makes me look like a man.

I Scored X On straightacting.com: 1. I care way too much what other people think. 2. I have issues with being gay.

Pig: 1. Sex is the most important thing to me. 2. My life sucks, and sex helps deaden the pain.

PNP: 1. I take drugs, most likely crystal meth and I’m probably addicted. 2. My life sucks and drugs help deaden the pain. 3. I’m weak and haven’t asked for help yet, even though I desperately need it.

VGL: 1. I think my worth and your worth in the gay community is based solely on looks. 2. I’m insecure. 3. I desperately need to be validated. 4. Very Gay Looking.

S2R: I’m bitter, have been burned, and cling to it like a hungry baby to a bottle.

Massage Therapist: I take money for sex, but try to wrap it up in a nice sounding professional name.

Escort: 1. I’m a sex-addict, so I might as well make some money at it. 2. I’m really homely/average, and it makes me feel better about myself to think someone might pay me for sex, even though no one in their right mind ever would.

Discreet: 1. I’m cheating on my significant other. 2. I’m a closet case and paranoid.

Uninhibited: See “BB”

Where do you want to blow your load?: 1. I’m hoping you’ll say, “down your throat” or “up your hole.” 2. I’m looking for an excuse to reject you, so, no matter what your answer is, I can claim its incompatable with where I want it.

No Pic: 1. see “Discreet.” 2. I DO have a pic, but nobody wants to meet me once they see it, so, I’m better off saying I don’t have one. 3. I’m paraniod that someone will take my head and airbrush it onto Oprah’s body.

Straight-Acting: 1. I eroticize straight men way beyond what is reasonable and have wet dreams about straight-guys all the time. 2. I think straight men have a monopoly on masculinity. 3. I have unresolved issues with being gay. 4. I never got over being in love with my best friend in High-School.

Are you into black guys? 1. I’m black, and like Patty Hearst, I’ve adopted the mentality of my oppressors. I’m going from the assumption that attraction is not based on ME as an idividual, but rather the color of my skin. The plus side of this arrangement is, if you reject me, I don’t have to take it personally, I can just write you off as a racist. 2. I’m into white guys.

I’m not into/over the bar scene: 1. I currently have, or in the very recent past had, a huge emotional investment in the bar scene, otherwise I wouldn’t feel the need to proclaim so loudly that I’M OVER IT. 2. I can describe to you in detail the interior decoration of every club on the strip, and, am on a first name basis with all the bartenders. 3. I refer to my male friends as “her” and “she” behind their backs. 4. I haven’t figured out yet what I’m currently into so, instead of defining myself in a positive way, I’ve decided to focus on the negative. 5. I’m no longer as pretty as I once was, and don’t get the validation that I need at the bars anymore, so, I’ve decided to join a Gay Chorus.

Very Picky: 1. I have low self esteem so rather than risk getting hurt, I make everyone not good enough so I never have to face rejection or deal with the complexities of a real relationship. 2. I am looking for someone to support me so I no longer have to work retail. 3. I am looking for a trophy, not a lover. 4. I hate my father.

Boi/Boy: 1. I’m under 25. 2. I’m 35 and haven’t updated my pic, profile or mentality since I was 25. 3. I’m 55 pretending I’m 25. I will also use words like “sup,” “kewl” and “dood.”

Not Fat: Fat.

Photographer: I want to sleep with you but I’m too homely or shy to think of any other way I can see you naked besides pretending to be a photographer.